A Little More Vampires !!

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Vampires are the world's teenager's fave legends. So I'm doing another post about them.

Vampires are creatures of folklore, fiction and mythology. Vampires will feed off the life force of humans or animals. I most cases they are undead corpses, who live off the blood of other beings to stay alive. The Vampire has to feed on the blood of other living things to keep on living, if it doesn't it will perish. Vampires need blood. The blood flows through their undead bodies, usually as their own. Their bodies will absorb this blood into energy, so then they need to get more.

Vampires can take the form of a bat, and a normal human. Their only weaknesses are garlic and the sun. Vampires loose their supernatural powers temporarily when making contact with the sun directly. It is said that the stench of garlic will make the vampire give out an ear-splitting scream like sound. In most legends vampires can't survive the stab of wood. Vampires are said to never age, hereby always staying youthful and powerful.

Vampires have supernatural powers, and they are said to be beautiful in human form.

Vampirism is said to be a form of cannabalism, by drinking a human's blood

There are only three main ways of becoming a vampire. By birth, bite and death. It is said that if someone survive's a vampire attack, that they would become one of the undead because of veno that are in the being's fangs. In some cultures, if a child is born on certian holy days, new moons, or seasonal aquinox the result could also be that the child will become a vampire if born with red caul on their heads, an extra nipple or with two hearts. If the mother stared at a vampire or did not eat enough salt whist pregant the baby would also be born as a vampire.

Sasquatch

North America has its own famous monster. A monster of which many believe in, but more don't. Just like Scotland has its Loch Ness sea serpent and the Himalayas has its Abominable Snowman or Yeti, North America lays claim to Sasquatch or also known by it's nickname, Big Foot. Sasquatch - a 7 to 10-foot-tall apeman - has been sighted in North America for centuries. Before the European invasion, Native Americans knew of the creature and gave him the name Sasquatch, which means "hairy giant." One of the earliest recorded sightings of Sasquatch by man occurred in 1811 near what is now Jasper, Alberta by a fur trader named David Thompson. Since then there have been many sightings of the creature in Western Canada, and in several states of the U.S, especially the Pacific Northwest, Ohio, and even as far south as Florida, where the swamp-dwelling beast is known as the Skunk Ape. This beast facinates some, but others fear it
Is Sasquatch mere legend, or reality? What's the evidence? Personal accounts of sightings are plentiful and deserve weight because of their numbers. Physical evidence, such as footprints and hair samples, is rarer, and recordings on film and video rarer still. Here's a look at some of the best - and always controversial - evidence for the existence of Sasquatch.

He isn't called Bigfoot for nothing. There have been more than 700 footprints attributed to Bigfoot collected over the years, having an average length of 15.6 inches. The average width is 7.2 inches. That's one big foot. By comparison, the foot of a 7-foot, 3-inch basketball player - a rarity, to say the least - is 16.5 inches long but only 5.5 inches wide.

The Jersey Devil

The Jersey Devil, the supposed mythical creature of the New Jersey Pinelands, has haunted New Jersey and the surrounding areas for the past 260 years. Over this period, it has been spotted by over 2000 witnisses. It has terrorized towns and caused factories and schools to close down, yet many people believe that the Jersey Devil is a legend, a mythical beast, that originated from the folklore of the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Some others disagree with this point of view, completely. The following text will show there is evidence to support the existence of an animal or supernatural bring known as the Jersey Devil. The evidence consists of the stories of the Jersey Devil's origin, the sightings of it, and finally, the theories on it.
There are many different versions and tales of the birth of the Jersey Devil. One of the most popular legends says a Mrs. Shrouds of Leeds Point, NJ made a wish that if she ever had another child, she want it to be a devil. Her next child was born misshapen and deformed. She sheltered it in the house, so the curious people of the town couldn't see him. On a dark and stormy night, the child flapped it's arms, which turned into wings, and escaped out the chimney and was never seen by the family again. A Mrs. Bowen of Leeds point said, "The Jersey Devil was born in the Shrouds house at Leeds Point." 1 Another story that also placed the birth at Leeds Point said that a young girl fell in love with a British soldier during the Revolutionary War. The people of Leeds Point cursed her. When she gave birth, she had a devil. Some people believe the birth of the devil was punishment for the mistreatment of a minister by the Leeds folk.

The origins provide some validity to the existence of the Jersey Devil, but the sightings are the most substantial pieces of evidence. The sightings have been divided up into 3 time periods, pre 1909, January 16-23, 1909, and post 1909.
From the pre 1909 era, few documented records of sightings still exist. The ones that do confirm the existence of the devil

The Boyfriend's Death

woman and her boyfriend were on their way home from somewhere one night, and suddenly his car ran out of gas. It was about one in the morning and they were completely alone in the middle of the nowhere.
The guy stepped out of the car, saying comfortingly to his girlfriend, "Don't worry, I'll be right back. I'm just going to go out for some help. Lock the doors, though."
She locked the doors and sat restlessly, waiting for her boyfriend to come back. Suddenly, she sees a shadow fall across her lap. She looks up to see... not her boyfriend, but a strange, crazed looking man. He is swinging something in his right hand.
He sticks his face close to the window and slowly pulls up his right hand. In it is her boyfriend's decapitated head, twisted horribly in pain and shock. She shuts her eyes in horror and tries to make the image go away. When she opens her eyes, the man is still there, grinning psychotically. He slowly lifts his left hand, and he is holding her boyfriend's keys... to the car.

Pooka

Tales of fairies and their magical powers are popular all over Ireland but the most feared of these fairy people is the Pooka. This mischievous fairy comes out at night to create havoc and cause mischief. The Pooka will trick you into doing things you don't want, or even kidnap you. The Pooka's ability to change form and shape makes it even more scary . So, you can never be sure if you have come face to face with a Pooka, or not.
The most common form this magical creature takes is that of a yellow-eyed, dark horse with a long mane which blows in the wind. It tramples crops and breaks fences in the countryside as it goes on its nightly rampage.

Sometimes it follows the ships to sea. Often at night, as the black horse, the pooka will take a man for a ride clear around the country at breakneck speed until he loses his grip and flies headlong into a bog ditch.

leprechauns

The name leprechaun may have come from the Irish leath bhrogan (shoemaker), although its origins may lie in luacharma'n (Irish for pygmy). These aged, diminutive men are frequently to be found in an intoxicated state, caused by home-brew poteen. However they never become so drunk that the hand which holds the hammer becomes unsteady and their shoemaker's work affected.

Very small sprites who sometimes live in farmhouses or wine cellars. They are said to help humans with small tasks. Sometimes they ask humans for supplies and furniture, in which in return they give objects which bring luck and fortune, like a four leaved clover. Leprechauns are called fairy cobblers, for they make shoes for elves (but always one shoe, never a pair). They are seen quite often by humans and are described as merry little fellows gaily dressed in old-fashioned clothes; green, with a red cap, leather apron, and buckled shoes.

Leprechauns have also become self-appointed guardians of ancient treasure left by the Danes when they marauded through Ireland, burying it in crocks or pots. They regard humans as filthy, needy and greedy creatures. He would promise great weath to a mortal, if cought. He carries two leather pouches. In one there is a silver shilling, a magical coin that returns to the purse each time it is paid out. In the other he carries a gold coin which he uses to try and bribe his way out of difficult situations. This coin usually turns to leaves or ashes once the leprechaun has parted with it.However, you must never take your eye off him, for he can vanish in an instant.

*~Werewolves~*

The name Werewolf most likely derives from Old English wer (or were) and wulf. The first part, wer, translates as "man" (in the sense of male human, not the race of humanity). It has cognates in several Germanic languages including Gothic wair, Old High German wer and Old Norse var, as well as in other Indo-European languages, such as Latin vir, Lithuanian vyras and Welsh gwr, which have the same meaning. The second half, wulf, is the ancestor of modern English "wolf"; in some cases it also had the general meaning "beast". An alternative etymology derives the first part from Old English weri (to wear); the full form in this case would be glossed as wearer of wolf skin.

Lobisón is the word that stands for Werewolf in north Argentina. The werewolf is usually the seventh son in a family. The seventh girl in the legend is doomed to be a witch. When they turn into a hairy creature that resembles a man and a wolf, the Lobisón, goes wonderingly into the woods and mountains, feeding mostly upon carrion. However, if they get to meet with a human being, they will instantly attack. The survivors will then turn into Lobisones themselves, but it is very rare, because most people die in the claws and teeth of these ferocious creatures, it is almost impossible to survive the attack. It is also said that if a Lobison's saliva sprinkles over a man or a woman, he or she will eventually turn into a Lobisón.

The legend of the werewolf is one of the most wide spread and ancient. Stories can be found about these creatures from anywhere in the world.

The full moon has always been linked to werewolves. Unlike movie werewolves, "real" werewolves change shape when they want to, voluntary. In many myths they are witches who take animal form to go about unnoticed, using either a potion she made out of things like blood, the fat of dead children, herbs or animal skin. She then changes form completely, taking the form of the animal.

Lycaon the King

The story of Lycaon the king explains how werewolves first came into the world.
Lycaon was a very fierce and cruel king. His cruelty was legendary. When the powerful God, Zeus heard of his mischievous actions, he decided to come down to see for himself. To his surprise the truth was worse than what he had heard. Zeus went at once to meet with King Lycaon. When Zeus revealed himself at Lycaon's kingdom, Lycaon's servants got on their knees to pray. Lycaon however did not believe that Zeus was a god and made a plan to test him. Lycaon planned to kill him. If he was a god he would survive but if he wasn't then he would die. First he invited Zeus to a feast that he had prepared himself. The feast was human flesh from an innocent messenger that he had killed. Zeus, since he was a god knew at once what was happening and was furious with Lycaon’s cannibalism. As a punishment Zeus turned Lycaon into a wolf. Lycaon's entire body changed, only his eyes were human.

The Beast of Le Gevaduan

This tale takes place in a mountainous region in France called Le Gevaduan where the people lived off of cattle herding. These cattle were mostly watched by children. The first person killed was a young girl who was watching a herd of cattle and did not return home. The villagers went out looking for her and found her dead body and her heart torn out. Many other followed and families began to keep their children home because they feared for their lives. Then a peasant women reported that she had seen a weird looking creature that walked on two legs like a human but had a pig like snout and was as big as a donkey. No one believed her until another man named Jean-Pierre witnessed the creature himself.
News quickly spread to King Louis the XV and he immediately sent a group of soldiers to find and kill the animal. They came upon the animal and they killed it. But they were wrong because the killings continued. The King sent the soldiers out a second time but again the soldiers failed and the killings continued. The third time a group of hunters were determined to kill the creature, especially Jean Chastel who would not rest until he killed the animal. He even brought a rifle full of silver bullets, that were known to kill werewolves. The group of hunters met up with the creature and Jean Chastel shot two of his silver bullets. One piercing the werewolf's heart killing it.
The description of this animal is unclear and we only know that it was a "strange-looking wolf, with close-cropped ears and unusual hooflike feet." The animal was buried but no actually knows where. The only remaining evidence is Jean Chastel's rifle at the church in Saint Martin-de-Bouchaux.

Dragons

Dragons are mythical creatures, they appear in many diffirent cultures, countries and time periodes. Some describe them as monsters, serpents or beasts. The magical idea of dragons has been kept alive over many centuries.

Dragons were first thought of, of magical creatures who live mostly in water. Now dragons are usually thought of to have wings and breathe fire, with scales and sharp claws, some also horned. Almost always dragons are said to be venomous. Some dragons may have two or more heads. They may also have more than one tail. Dragons are said to eat things such as rats, birds, snakes, bats, or even humans, especially children. Dragon stories often has the dragon playing the part of the story's villian. The hero has to defeat it. They are always said to live in remote areas , far away from any humans who might spot them, in places that are dark, damp and secluded, such as caves.

There are thousands of Dragon stories, told for thousands of years. Passed on and always keeping everyone who hears it's attention.

The Golden Legend

In Europe, the story of Saint Goerge and the dragon is a very populer one. The legend takes place in a town called Silene, in Libya. The legend states that this town had a large pond where a plague-bearing dragon dwelt. To please the dragon, so that it wouldn't hurt them, they fed it sheep and maidens.

Lots were drewn between the maidens of the town to see who would be sacrificed to the dragon next. One day, as the maidens were drewing lots, the lot fell upon the princess of Silene. The king, filled with unbearable grief, told the people they could have all his gold and silver and half of his kingdom if his daughter were spared. The people, fearing the rage and power of the dragon, refused. The people all loved the princess, but feared the dragon. So, the princess was sent out to the lake, dressed as a bride, to be fed to the dragon.
When Saint Goerge heard about this he rode on horseback to the lake. The princess, trembling, sought to send him away, but George vowed to remain and fortified himself with the Sign of the Cross.
The dragon reared out of the lake as George and the princess were talking. Saint George charged at it on horseback and stabbed it with his lance. Then he called to the princess to throw him her girdle, and put it around the dragon's neck. When she did so, the dragon followed the girl like a dog on a leash. They led the dragon back into town, where it terrified the people at its approach. But St. George called out to them, saying that if they converted to Christianity and were baptized, he would slay the dragon before them.
The king and the villagers agreed, 15,000 men plus women and children, and were converted and baptized. George then drew his sword and slew the dragon. On the site where the dragon died, the king built a church, which bore a spring whose waters cured all diseases.

The Bride of the Lindorm King

Centuries ago in sweden, the queen layd in her bedchaimber about to give birth to twins. She had wanted children very badly, for many years, and she thought that it was never going to happen. She smiled as she remembered how she had consulted a soothsayer, who had promised her that in less than a year she would be granted two handsome sons, provided that she ate two fresh onions as soon as she returned to the palace.

Although this advice had seemed quite bizarre to her, the queen had been so desparete to have children. So wanting it to work that she had rushed away, ignoring the voice of the soothsayer calling after her. Arriving back home, the queen ordered two crisp onions to be brought to her at once.

The queen was so happy and excited by the promise the onions held that she quickly ate the first one without stopping even to peel the skin from it. It tasted horrible, not suprising though. So the second onion she peeled carefully, stripping away every layer of skin before eating it. It had tasted much better. Nine months had passed since then, and now, precisely and exactly as foretold by the soothsayer, her greatly wanted sons were about to be born.

the courtiers and the palace staff, all the maids and gardeners were eagerly awaiting the official announcement of the birth of the new princes. They were waiting right outside the bedchamber. Suddenly, they all heard a horrible shriek, an ear-splitting scream coming from the chamber. The shriek of horror wasn't the sound of a newborn baby.

a wail of the royal midwife when she set eyes upon the queen's first child. It was a male - but it was not human.

The queen had given birth to a lindorm, a hideous, snakelike dragon, whose wingless body thrashed upon the marble floor in scaly coils, and from whose shoulders sprang a pair of powerful limbs with taloned feet. The queen was so repulsed by the creature that she couldn't scream. She was speechless. She couldn't even whisper, the queen leaned down, took the ugly lindorm in her arms and threw it out the palace window where it landed in the forest surrounding the palace. Weakened from the exertion, the queen sank back upon the bed and gave birth again, this time to a perfect healthy, fresh-faced boy, with golden hair and sparkling blue eyes.

Years passed, and the boy became a youthful, handsome prince. He was searching for a bride, but what he found was his brother, the lindorm. The prince was riding around the edge of the vast forest around the palace when, without warning, a huge head emerged from a thorny bush directly in front of him. Rearing up until his green scaled body looked a little like a tall tree, he looked down at the prince with unblinking youthful amber eyes which penetrated his innemost thoughts.

mesmerised and motionless the prince stared back, he heard its voice assuring him with cold, reptilian detachment that certainty he would never find a wife until the lindorm, the elder brother, had obtained the true love of a willing bride.

Over the next few months, the prettiest of the village maidens were given to the lindorm in hope that he would find the right maiden, so that the young prince could too find a bride. Needless to say, none of these maidens came willingly, but none was accepted by the monster. The situation seemed irredeemable, until the next maiden selected to be the bride of the lindorm, had the good fortune to encounter the same soothsayer which the queen had consulted so many years before.

After listening to the maiden speaking of her impending plight, the soothsayer whispered into her ear a few words that swiftly replaced her sadness with a smile of delight.

The maiden was presented to the lindorm that night who gruffly told her to take off her dresses, of which she seemed to be wearing a surprising number of. She agreed to do this, but only after extracting from the lindorm the promise that for every dress she took off, it would shed a layer of skin. This it did, until only one remained, and until the maiden was clothed in just a single simple garment.

Despite remembering the soothsayer's words, it was not without nervousness that she removed this final gown and stood naked before the great dragon. The lindorm moved toward her, and the maiden tensed - fearing, yet also desiring, what was to come, for if the soothsayer had spoken truthfully there would be great happiness and great love ahead. And so she stood erect and motionless as the serpentine monster leisurely, almost tenderly, enveloped her body in its scaly coils. She had expected them to feel cold and slimy, but was pleasantly surprised by their warmth and softness when they embraced and caressed her. Even so, she felt a flicker of terror rising within her and desire to flee. Then the words of the soothsayer came back into her mind, calming her, and she relaxed again.

The maiden noticed that the lindorm's last layer of skin was starting to peel away. Gradually the skin dispersed and revealed that she was no longer wrapped within the serpentine coils of a lindorm, but held in the firm arms of the most handsome man she had ever seen.
The soothsayer had indeed spoken truthfully. By following her instructions, the maiden had broken the spell that had incarcerated him within the body of a lindorm,and here was the oldest twin, heir to the throne, which she would love to marry.

The joyful marriage took place without delay, and after the old queen had given her blessing to the newlyweds, now the king and queen, she felt a light tap on her shoulder. It was the sootsayer, who revealed the information the queen had not stayed to hear all those years ago—to be sure to peel both onions before eating them.

Legend Of Vampires

The Vampire myth is almost always thought of as Count Dracula, usually Male with Fangs, ready to kill you. But you know, in the different cultures and countries around the world, the Vampire legends can differ like Day and Night. The vampire itself isn't always in the form of a bat, It was as different as different ethnic groups and countries have representations of them in myths in their culture. In Ancient Greek myths the vampire is often a beautiful woman who has died and has not yet completed her life's purpose.

These vampiric woman are half woman half serpent. These woman are said to live in caves where she gets sustenance from drinking the blood of children who live in the town nearby the cave the vampire woman lives in. However, she also isn't picky, sometimes she also transforms into a very beautiful maiden and seduces young men, for their blood, which she drinks.

There were a few cases where reports were filed in history which believed to be vapires.

Likes the case of Arnold Paole. "It was reported that Arnold was bitten by a vampire while he was serving as a soldier in his country's army. When he returned home from service he became a farmer. One day while cutting hay Paole had an accident which killed him. A few days later, people started dying from loss of blood. The people started saying there was a vampire in their midst.
There were several eye-witness reports that said they had seen Arnold walking around after his death. His eye were glassy and his teeth had grown long and sharp. The locals went to dig up Paole's body, and when the had unearthed the corpse, there was no decay and there was fresh blood on the lips and a bloom of color in the cheeks. Arnold looked as fresh as the day he had died. The locals pounded a stake through the vampire's heart and heard the vampire screech in agony. Then they cut off the head and burned the body. The deaths stopped. "

Is this a houx or not? Nobody will ever be sure. Are Vampires real or not? Most people say that they don't exhist. But there are those who believe that they did exhist a long time ago.

Since the first recorded instances of vampires; coming from the Sumerians who five thousand years ago wrote of the "ekimmu" the "evil gust of wind" that drains the life force, people have tried to determine what comprises vampirism.

Vampires seems to defy the terms of being dead while seeming to be alive. A vampire's biography begins with death. Furthermore, much of the vampire's time is spent as a corpse or appearing as a human. But at night, when the normal people will go to sleep it is said that the corpse will rise with dangerous cravings. In the twenty-first century new definitional issues related to brain death, life support systems, persistent vegetative states, and the freezing of both embryos and cadavers (cryonic suspension) have blurred the boundaries between life and death. It is also recognized that some structures, such as the mosaic tobacco virus, can exhibit the properties of either a living or nonliving structure depending upon their situation. For much of history, though, it was the vampire who most daringly crossed and recrossed the borders between the living and the dead.

It is clear that vampirism had a secure place in Slavic superstitions for many years before it became a household word with the publication of Bram Stoker's Dracula (1897). The author transformed these folk stories into a dark gothic romance. His leading character was inspired by a character he did not have to invent: Vlad Tepes, a fifteenth-century tyrant who slaughtered and sometimes tortured thousands of people. "Vlad the Impaler" was no vampire, though; he did his terrible deeds while alive and had a hearty appetite that did not include sucking blood. Stoker, using literary license, combined the historical Vlad with vampire legends and added a veneer of Victorian culture. Separating fact from fantasy became increasingly difficult as popular literary and theatrical vampires distanced themselves from their roots in anxiety-ridden folklore. Inquiring minds have therefore been following the trail of the vampire, classifying and explaining as best they can.

Vampirism is a very interesting subject to do research on.

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Legends & Scary Stories!

One of my interests are of awesome legends and scary stories! I am going to show you some of my faves. Some of these may be a little spooky, but that's what's so cool about them! DONT believe everything you read! These legends are stories told by people who told it to other people who kept on telling it until the whole world knew them

Bloody Mary

A long time ago there was a little girl named Mary. She fell very ill and went into a coma. At this time doctors didn't know what a coma was, so they thought she was dead. They buried her alive! Every night Mary's mother thought that she heard a scream coming from Mary's grave, but no one believed her.

Finally one day Mary's mother convinced them to dig up her grave. When they did, they found scratches on the top of the coffin and Mary's fingernails were all bloody. But She was dead. Many folks believe that they have seen mary on Holloween night in the bathroom mirror when they say Bloody Mary three times. That she was walking on stairs.

Time's Up

A professor who was famous for his creative exam questions handed out the final exam to his students. The exam had only one question, "What is Courage?" The only A given on that particular exam was to a quiet young man who wrote simply: "This is."

The Concerned Mother

A man and wife were driving late one night when they were flagged down by a woman that appeared to be hurt. She claimed she'd been in an accident and her baby was alive but trapped in the car. The man told her to wait with his wife and he'd see what he could do. He got to the car and found a couple obviously dead in the front seat but a baby crying in a carseat. He cut the baby loose and returned to his own car.
When he got there his wife was alone, he asked her where the woman had went and she replied that she'd followed him to the wreck. He left the baby with his wife and went back to the car to find her. When he got there he realized the woman who'd been instantly killed in the front seat had been the one who'd flagged him down.

Crybaby Bridge

A teenage couple were on their way home when the car stalled on a railroad bridge. As the young man examined the engine to see if he could find the problem, he heard the sound of a baby crying.
After a few minutes the engine again roared to life, not wanting to alarm his date he didn't mention the strange sounds he heard.
Later, he found out that it was in that area long ago a young girl who'd hidden her pregnancy died while giving birth alone. The baby had eventually died from lack of care, no one had heard it's cries that night.

A Soldier's Return

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco. "Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."
"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
"There's something you should know" the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mine and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."
"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live.""No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."
At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building they were told. The police believed it was suicide.
The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The Staring Woman

A girl got on a train one night. There weren't many people on the train, so she sat down opposite this woman, who was sat between two men.She wasn't too bothered about them, except the fact that the woman seemed to be staring at her, but she couldn't quite see because the woman had her hood up.
At the next step, a man got on the train and sat next to the girl. After about five minutes the guy wispered to the girl, "Get off the next stop with me, it's important that you trust me."
At the next stop the girl got off the train with the man and watched the train speed by. The man then turned to the girl and said "Thank God, I'm a doctor and that woman was dead, the two men beside her were holding her up."

The Misunderstood Note


A witness at a trial was too embarrassed to repeat the obscenity the defendant had suggested to her, so the judge suggested she write it down, and let the jury read it. The woman did as she was asked, and the note was handed to the jury. The judge told them to each read it carefully and pass it along. The last man in the jury box had fallen asleep, and the young lady next to him woke him and handed it to him. He stared at it in surprise for a couple minutes, then began to fold it up.
The judge asked him to please hand the note to the bailiff, the juror then put his arm around the lady and replied, "Your honor, this note is a private matter between the lady and myself."

What Time Is it?

A guy calls his live-in girlfriend and tells her he's met someone else and wants her to move out. He'll be gone all weekend and says for her to be gone by the time he gets back. He expects to find his place trashed when he arrives, but finds everything is just fine except the telephone is off the hook. He hangs it up and thinks nothing of it until he gets the phone bill. Before she left, the girlfriend called the number of "time and temp." in Tokyo and left the phone off the hook for two days.


lol the last two are pretty funny huh?

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